Special Ingredients: Year in Review… Half a Year Late Covering Two Months of Content

As I get older, I find more and more the traditions I used swear by on a Phelpsish level I no longer give a third thought dismissing. Some even seem kind of silly now. For example, I used to insist on watching new anime at home and by myself, but now I’ll watch it just about anywhere, even on a portable DVD player propped up on my dashboard while barreling down the highway. I mean, why should I restrict myself to enjoying new anime in a specific spot where there’s little chance of colliding with a van carrying the Octuplets and their attention-famished mother? We might even get back to covering news that matters.

Yet some traditions need to be upheld. For instance, I make it a daily tradition to eat something at least once. Imagine how poorly off I would be if I abandoned this tradition? Actually, I would be one-hundred pounds lighter and at an ideal weight, so bad example.

Another tradition I’m not ready to cut loose just yet is the New Years article, despite the fact we haven’t had an update since well before the New Year. In fact, it’s closer to next the New Year than the last one. Yet this piece is important, as it provides a look back at what we’ve accomplished over the past year, allowing our readers to analyze our growth as a provider of quality modern literature. It also makes an article I don’ have to write any genuinely new material for.

2008 was a terrible one for Pocky Box. With only four updates, there hasn’t been a whole lot of new content. This is, as stated in just about every update, due to some sizable life changes, many of which have been covered in the scant articles over the year.

The death of my furry friend Sandy jumpstarted a chain of events that led up to my pre-occupation. I decided I had nothing keeping me at my mother’s house anymore, and the fact I was getting married with a couple of years was also a slight motivating factor. I wanted to wait another year to move out, but my cousin insisted NOW was the time. My cousin also happens to be my realtor.

The move itself was especially trying, because I had never lived in any other house before, and the emotional adjustment to living on my own took a lot of time to settle in. Plus, I had a ton of crap to move, making me feel bad for all of the starving orphans of the world who would love to have a single DVD in my collection so they could sell it for a loaf of bread to prolong their desperate existence a little longer. This lasted up until the point I had to move a random box containing a portion of my video game collection, causing a level of pain so great it made me think those orphans could suck it.

Of course, another dog was in our future, but like the house, it was sooner than I thought. My mother went into Chronic Obsession mode over this and spent literally entire days searching online for a new furry companion. We checked out from Yorkie/Chihuahuas from a breeder, and despite a price tag that could have provided me a Playstation 3, I absolutely had to have one, and that fufu dog became my little buddy, Menchi.

My mother, meanwhile, picked up a rescue dog in Michigan, a mutt that turned out to be a rat terrier/border collie mix, two flavors that go exceedingly well together, combining the nuclear reactor-level energy of a Border Collie with the insanity of a rat terrier.

I also purchased a new car because the old one had a hole in it. Really, this wasn’t some kind of clothes-related metaphor personifying our end-before-mend society. The car’s underbody was rusted out and it posed the slight risk of crumpling like a pop can in a meteorite shower if I got into an accident. Believe me when I say that was quite an adventure.

I can’t even find respite at work, a place where there are far fewer distractions than at home, save for the internet, but my options are somewhat limited there because I can’t download porn without trading in my job.

The major reason for the delay of site updates can be found here. After twelve years of anime fandom, I’ve finally taken things to the next level and started my own anime convention. To say this endeavor has been taxing on me is an understatement akin to saying three tons of TNT strapped to the Hoover damn will be loud. Trust me when I say the story of this convention will be covered one day in some form or another. I’m pushing to do a documentary about it, but as far as my ambitions tend to go, I’ll be surprised if I make it out the door.

So things have been going on, just not on the site. Nothing of great interest, outside of the fact I still paid to maintain a site I never update. We’ve been through one of the most dramatic elections in the history of the country (until the next one, of course), delved into the personal life of an obviously-psychotic mother who wanted to risk her life and the life of her children to pop out eight at once just so she wouldn’t waste the mini pizzas in the refrigerator before they went bad (my apologies to Lewis Black for stealing part of his joke), or countless other stories I’ve symmetrically ignored because my personal life has enough chaos without adding the chaos of others to the mix, save for the few times I poke my head out to bask in the misfortunes of others in a pathetic attempt to make my own pale in comparison.

This year, however, THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT! Just as OJ tells himself whenever the urge strikes that he will NOT do something that will force a court appearance, my mantra seems as truthful as the words of our previous president, except instead of deceiving millions for self-gain, the reason I haven’t backed up my words is through circumstances involving exhaustion, lack of motivations, and good ol’ fashioned laziness.

And yet with this update, almost to prove I haven’t left Pocky Box in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness with only a hunting knife and a lighter to its name. We have TWO new features for you to watch me not update.

Pocky Blog stems from my lack of updates. With this rant journal, I can toss out the random garbage that backs up in my mind onto the digital page without committing myself to an article. This feature will let me comment on current events, random observations, and anything else I feel like subjecting my readers to. I call it win-win, but this is debatable by some.

The second feature is the first time I’ve attempted a major overhaul on an old article by splitting the content up. Fans of my piece on my experience in the world of e-commerce will be thrilled with the introduction of eBay eDiots: The Feature. Instead of cramming new stories of eBay eDiots into an older article, now my takes of eDiocy are carefully documented and organized, with each eBay eDiot getting their very own page! What an honor! I can’t wait for the lawsuits!

You might also notice some pages look a little different from others for a while. Since the site began, I wasn’t completely happy with the slight graphical flaws on the main logo, birthed from some sinister graphic error hidden deep within the original file. I decided to rebuild the logo and clean it up, and also made some adjustments to make the layout look a little cleaner. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but considering I’ve despised change throughout my life, this is equivalent to the moon walk.

Plus, you have a mess of content to read, so get to it, and hope for an update this year. You think I’m joking…